LAURA KIRK

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How to Grow Character in Suffering

Do you ever have some new Truth ringing in your heart and head and begin to see it everywhere? That word, that idea, that thought on every billboard, in every sermon and through every conversation?

For me, it was the word character. A couple of years ago, I was telling God (read: complaining) about the hard season I was in and how I wish it were over. As if He didn’t already know both of those things. I decided to flip back through my journal, and as I began to read the things He had said to me over the few weeks prior, I saw a common thread running through. In nearly every one of those conversations, He had mentioned the word character. 

Holiness is hard and difficult to obtain because it requires denying your flesh. That can be painful at times. But it reaps a harvest of character that is not otherwise possible. 

Keep your eyes on Me, and the things that are painful won’t be quite so hard.

So being the disciplined Bible scholar I am, I turned to the concordance and looked up the singular verse listed under the word Character. And this is what I found.

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

Now, I’ve read this verse, I don’t know, maybe a million times. I’ve heard it preached on, seen it emblazoned on cute journals, and the topic of youth camps in summers past. But when I read it this time, knee deep in “sufferings” and knowing what He told me about character, I just about fell off the couch.

Then of course, that week I walked in to my new Bible study group and grabbed the study book. The topic: Romans 5:3-5. It was everywhere for me right then.


In those moments, when the Lord is obviously sending me a very clear lesson, I want to be a very present student. I want to have my eyes locked on His, so as not to miss the Word of the moment.

If we choose to look the other way or continue to languish in the suffering without looking to Jesus, we will miss the opportunity He’s offering. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want one mite of suffering to be without purpose and produce. I know that the Lord did not cause my suffering, but He wants to teach me through it. He, and only He, can make good on it and turn it into my moment of greatest victory.

That verse says that we rejoice in our sufferings. When was the last time that you ran into a hard situation and said, “YES! This is awesome!” That’s hard to even imagine, much less be equipped to accomplish. 

The root of that word rejoice is the word for neck: the thing holding the head high. We are to hold our heads proud when we suffer, knowing as we yield to the Lord, He will produce in us the ability to look more like Him. The Holy Spirit grows us in character, which looks like love toward our enemies, abiding joy in disappointment, peace through tumult, patience in trials, kindness , goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The fruit of the Spirit.


So what does this look like? It means entering in, directly into the suffering and asking God where He is in it.

So I began to inquire of the Lord. What does character look like to You? What would it look like displayed in me? How will it change my perspective on suffering? How will it affect my hope and cause me to grow in hope?

What part of my attitude or actions or beliefs can I yield to You to change for the better as I walk this out?

The answers to those questions will determine how I walk through this season. And not just the answers themselves but the One who answers. My choice to turn my face to Jesus, to see Him and His heart in the midst of this, and then lean deeper into my relationship with Him, will change everything. He will always exceed my expectations.